I think missing you hurts the most when something funny happens. Because in that one moment I find myself laughing, and within the next second I want to tell or text you what happened. And then it hits me again, every single time, that you aren’t there anymore. That I lost that one thing that mattered to me. And there's not a day that goes by, without me thinking of you, dying, in someone else's arms. I really can't imagine that. You know what? I’m awful about your name. I still jump when I hear it. I still feel it rattling somewhere in my stomach. I think I’m jealous of anyone that gets to say it because it’s not my right anymore. I came to realized that you already left me. Left me alone. And I can't stop myself for missing you. I keep dreaming of you, everyday. Those dreams are so vivid, I feel like you're really besides me, hold my hands and kiss me. And when I wake up, I'll keep missing you all over again. 
20 February 2016. I am finally 21 years old ! I now can unlocked myself. Hahaha. Thanks to those yang wish lagi-lagi yang gigih tunggu pukul 12am sebab nak wish. And not to forget, thanks to Afiq sebab gigih type text panjang-panjang. U know what? You've never been this sweet before. I am so touchedddd :') To let u know, I love u and thanks 'cause showing your effort on my birthday! :) Yang penting, my father always wish tepat pada masa. Dapat whatsapp dari ayah pukul 12am tepat! Ni lagi satu nak terharu even ayah just bagi gambar cake & edit sikit-sikit je. At least he showed some effort to edit that picture aite :p I love you, I love you guys! Thanks for making my day :D
something had came across my mind. so dengan segeranya aku capai laptop, buka blog ni. well, aku tiba-tiba terfikir "sampai bila aku nak macam ni? bila aku nak move on". Yeah right, aku memang dah move on, tapi nak move balik ke arah serious relationship ni memang a BIG NO for me. someone had asked me "sampai bila u nak macam ni? sampai bila nak tutup hati u untuk org lain. jangan sebab salah orang lain, orang lain yang dapat balasan.". Bukan tak cuba, tapi I don't know. aku rasa aku still tunggu junior aku tu kot. well, he's lovely. dah hampir 2 tahun tutup hati, and I finally opened it for him. tapi dia macam tak faham. why lahhhh? ok jom doa sama-sama yang dia tak bebal sangat & mohon dia perasan yang senior dia ni tengah tunggu dia. huhu
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